I have been having trouble writing here for a while. As the weeks passed by, I found more and more resistance within me.
Then I came to the realisation that all of the goals James and I had set out at the start of the blog, almost a year ago, are now being put on hold indefinitely. James now has a great job and a chance at having a successful career. Unfortunately, a career is something that flies in the opposite direction to the goals we had before, travelling around the world and being location independent. So we had to make the really hard decision to let go of those goals, at least for the foreseeable feature (= at least several years). It wasn’t an easy decision, one that took us weeks to even say out loud that we were going to let these goals go.
Please don’t think that this is all sacrifice on my part. I really love living in Edinburgh and so am quietly relieved that I don’t have to plan leaving this wonderful city any time soon. I’m thoroughly enjoying my voluntary work, and I have started to attend art classes. It’s not all that bad.
Still, now that those goals are gone, I’m feeling very lost. I don’t think I’ve ever not had a goal before. As I floated from one half hatched goal idea to another, James and I started to grow apart. We weren’t talking like we used to. Instead of talking, we watched films and TV programmes on the laptop.
We sat down and discussed the possibility that without goals, joint goals in which we both take part in, we would slowly grow apart and become mundane and indifferent to each other.
So now, we are on a hunt for a new goal. We don’t know what it is yet, but we’re having fun trying to figure out how to go about searching for a goal.